Over the last few weeks in Scarboreugh they have been busy. She keeps cooking and Tom has been eating what She cooks, even Mountain Tom got some! Meanwhile they only give me rubbish food! Time after time they offer me food that is substandard and then tuck into yummy smelling morsels that my instruction book said they should never Ever, EVER, EVER! feed to me!

See NOTHING for me and they are smiling about it!

Anyhow that is another thing, at least I won’t become as round as Bogey Face Stumpy Legs and Fatty Betty next door!

Just how does this turn on!?!

I’ve been quiet on here for a while, they keep going out without me. When they do this they turn the computers off and so far I’ve not worked out which button turns them on again! Apparently they keep going to see Oleanna and check if she’s still floating. A big hole has appeared in the side of the canal and let lots of water out, I keep offering to go and help. I’m sure I could stick my arm in it to fill the hole, but no She says I have to stay here in Scarboreugh!

Maybe I should start a vlog

So Trees. One of my favourite subjects.

Big trees!

In this world there are many types of trees, stemming (or should I say trunking) from the Giant Sequoia that can reach a height of 279ft , five Oleanna’s and can be nearly as wide as she is long. Quite a climb!

Not much to write home about

Then there are Bonsai trees, these are small, I can just about step over them and they certainly would not be worth lying under for shade on a hot hot day, mostly because I’d not be able to get that low.

Sideways trees in preparation

Then there are sideways trees. You can walk along their trunks sideways having to climb over a few obstacles on your way. They serve well as boundaries, keeping woofers out of fields and on towpaths. They also offer good vantage points for finding friends below. Some grow naturally, others are encouraged by Toms.

Tom decided that he would have a go at making a tree into a sideways tree. I don’t think it was for my benefit as I quite liked my route up onto the balcony. He got a zigging zagging saw out and chopped my tree down.! He said it was undermining things and needed to go. Neighbours streets away said how cruel he was chopping my tree down.

She had to come out and help him move the bits over walls. Where it was left it then became a sideways tree. The trunk very good for scratching and the branchy bits were all over the place, but a little bit too bendy to walk along. The real downside of the new sideways tree is that Bogey Face and Fatty Betty seem to want it too! I make the most of it when I go out the back outside, that isn’t very often though.

Tom keeps chopping bits off of it with his zigging zagging saw thing. I think it would be much better if he stood it up again.

Our little tree came with us from our boat inside to the outside here. She brought it inside a while ago, she hung things from it and it got twinkly lights all over it. Now that I am a grown up boat cat I just sit alongside it and admire it’s prettyness apparently! It’s quite hard doing this at times.

She also brought home some other bits of trees. She does this every year when it’s cold. I did my best to help by quality controlling it all, only a few bits got rejected, the rest she bound together for the front door. Henry gave us some silver ribbon and Emma some star lights for it too.

The other kind of tree here is my scratch post. I like to think of it as an inside tree. It’s been getting hairyier and hairyier. For my birthday She bought me a big ball of string, which I didn’t understand. But She got a new glue gun for her birthday and the first thing She used it for was my scratch post. It took a while to uncoil the old string. But even longer to put the new string on as it got tangled no matter what She did. But now it is better than new.


So now we have a sideways tree in the back outside, a tree a little bit bigger than a bonsai on a table, bits of tree on the front door and my Scratch tree. I wonder when the Great Redwood will arrive?!

Taming The Dragon

A few weeks ago they moved sides. My bed got a chair all of it’s own and my escape pod was positioned on the floor, I don’t tend to use it much these days, not much water to be warry of around here.

Then something happened. Tom scrunched up paper, snapped bits of wood and filled a scuttle with coal. The coal comes to this inside in bags which the man takes away with him. I suspect it’s so that he doesn’t have to take the coal all the way up to put it on the roof, I don’t blame him as it’s not just a simple jump for me anymore like it was on the boat.

Snapped bits of wood

All of Tom’s actions were nothing unusual, but hang on where was the stove?! There is no stove, no door to open to feed the dragon, who lies inside waiting to breath fire. No door to close to keep the dragon safe behind the glass. Instead Tom took away a bit of black, laid the paper, sticks and coal in a whole in the wall that lay behind. Maybe houses have different breeds of dragons that need coaxing out from the chimney.

Poxy mesh

The fire was lit, then Tom spent ages trying to get the dragon to read some newspaper, taking it away every now and again. These house dragons must have had a better education. After reading a few articles the flames roared up the chimney. Still no door, just a poxy bit of mesh to hold the dragon back! Just what use was that?! Then when She and Tom came and sat on the sofa the poxy mesh was taken away!

Risky move by Tom!

I had to keep a very close eye on this dragon, after all it was free to come out of the wall and blow flames at us. She kept telling me to keep away from it as it might melt my whiskers. But Tom must have tamed it, he fed it every now and again and when we went to bed he put the poxy mesh back and then closed the doors to the living room.

In the morning the black was back in position, the dragon safely sleeping up the chimney, it must prefer it to be dark. It took me a few more days before I dared to sit on the catwalk above the dragon. It keeps my tail nice and warm.

She says that their Saturday newspaper might not be enough to wake the dragon every evening. I think I prefer boat dragons, they only need one lot of paper and they keep going in their little box for days, weeks, months, plus they don’t have to read it all first!

That’s better

I’ve Been Busy, Okay!

Blimey there has been a lot to oversee in the last couple of weeks!

Checking things hang properly

She finished Tom’s shed. He now has a bed in it, not that it’s any good for sleeping on as it’s covered in boxes. That sounds quite good to a cat, lots of boxes, but they are all full of things! How inconsiderate!

Just where is a cat supposed to get comfy?!

Tom has been sneaking up through the tall doors and appearing with more boxes, then some more, then even more! Some of these have been put in what She says could be my Shed. They make for interesting nosing around, but My Shed lacks several things. A roof to sit on and a shelf to be able to see out of the window. I’ve risen a chitty and am hoping they will get round to it in the not too distant future. Just what is the point of a shed without a view?!

Anyhow. She then started to leave the tall doors open! This is just so exciting. I’ve been waiting for this to happen for ages and ages. It started off that I was only allowed upstairs upstairs with supervision. My vision is perfectly fine, I feel it is quite super as I can see an awful lot more than She and Tom can, but they seem to think they are better at it than me. I have to humour them.

Open the door, you know you want to!

Behind the tall doors are stairs that resemble fat trees. I have no problems getting up them, but they do. They even try to bring things down them and get themselves all tied up in knots. How did this get up here? It must have come up this staircase. No this one. Tom insisted that one of the tall doors could be even taller, but She knew it couldn’t. He really should listen to her.

The tall door

At first it was fantastic up there. Boxes to climb round, in and over. Wooden climbing frames too so I could get even higher! But Tom took most of the boxes away. I hoped they’d be added to my Shed, but they went all the way to the bottom and helped fill the cupboards in the kitchen.

Exciting things to climb

She used a hissing thing and pulled a side off. It got all steamy up there so I left her to it. Apparently some Toms are going to come and make mess and noise. I hope they don’t take too long as I have a route to plan to the very very top of the house.

She pulled the side down, not me!

It looks good up there. I tried to get closer, but my claws didn’t work very well so I slid back down. The view is ever so good almost above the trees. From here I can see even more trees.

She washed the windows which were very urgh! She then spent even longer emptying boxes, filling other ones, moving things about. I used my supervision eyes and did my best to make sure She was doing it properly. The wooden climbing frames came in handy to get a better view of what She was up to.

Work not play!

Then when there was enough space for my mouse fishing rod to be spun round in the middle She gave the floor a good swish swash with water. This apparently isn’t my playroom. It is a work room. Back on Oleanna She had the table and a few cupboards that She used for work, now She has a space that the whole of Oleanna would fit into, surely I can play up there too!

Her table is big enough for the both of us, so it looks like I will still have my job as a Theatre Designers Assistant. The box that arrived the other week has now been opened to reveal ……. another box. Not an ordinary box, but one She made last year, it is very black and seems to be peeling. But if anyone can mend it She can, for now I’ll just keep it warm for her.

Many Mouths To Feed

My diet is minimal. Fresh biscuits for morning dingding, a pouch of something a little bit fishy for evening dingding, plus a top up of biscuits, the yellow ones are the best. During the day I sometimes snack on some friends, but recently this hasn’t been so much. Bogey Nose next door must eat at least three seagulls a day to keep his physique in top stumpy condition!

Sunning myself

When I heard of one cat who is eating six , yes six! pouches a day, I wondered just how stumpy and fat she must be. She must be really really round. However she seems to have more than one mouth to feed.

Luna has an extra six mouths to feed as she’s had kittens. Three weeks old today!

Now I don’t like cats in general, but as all of these are black and white and a little bit like me, well … what’s not to like.

My No.1 fan, She Joa, is helping look after them all, it actually sounds like all she is doing is opening pouches of food for Luna and scooping up after her. She Joa fosters cats for the Cats Protection.

As they all get older and spend less time devouring milk they will need toys and things to keep them occupied. My birthday present this year was really really good so I might just get them one of those and maybe some Dreamies for Mum, Luna, I think she deserves some.

Figaro and Bill. Look at those pink paw pads

If you fancy giving them a little something too She says they have a wish list that you can buy from. Swale Cats Protection Wish List and get them sent to Joa Savage’s Gift Registry Address.


I wonder if any of them will become boat cats? She’d quite like Otter, but he hasn’t got a white tipped tail so he’s not allowed on my boat.

Wet Neck!

The other morning I was just sitting minding my own business, waiting for the front window to be opened when She comes along and picks me up, I’m not a great one for a cuddle even if She’d like me to be.

Normally I am lifted off the ground because She doesn’t want me there, I’m about to be put behind a closed door for some bazaar reason, shopping arriving, chats on the doorstep. Then there are the other times. When I get put on a table!


This time my collar and cat tags were removed. Not a good sign in the slightest. I do my best to scrunch up my shoulders so there can’t be a patch of skin visible anywhere on my body, especially in the keenly sought after shoulder blades, back of neck area. But She continues to try to part my fur as I squirm and wriggle.

The battle continues for quite a few minutes until She feels She has succeeded.

Sulky tail

No matter what I do I can’t quite get to my wet neck. My fur tingles and this feeling gradually creeps across the whole of my body. Scratching the offending area doesn’t seem to help, but I continue to do it. My legs shrink and seem to be doing an impersonation of Bogey nose stumpy Alan only more so.

Even though She’s been evil to me, I like to stay close, incase She says it was a mistake and takes back the horrible tingly cold stuff. But She doesn’t. She never does.


The only good thing about my situation is I get to be very very quiet for a couple of days. No cat tags means no bell and I can sneak up behind them and give them a jump. She says there are more advantages like not getting fleas or ticks. But I thought ticks were good things and quite often come along with a gold star.

Now where was I?


Tilly Too and me

Tilly Too and I have been wandering about things for a while, mostly about outsides. This inside has two outsides, one at the front and the other out the back. The other day a Tom came with a very wet brush. He swept the front windows, leaving them all very very wet. But then a short while later he appeared in the back outside and gave the windows there a wet sweep too. How did he do that? Get from the front to the back without using the inside?!

His wet brush at the front

For obvious reasons (Bogey nose stumpy Alan) I far prefer the front outside. She now opens up a window so that I can come and go as I like most days. My intake of Dreamies is increasing nicely!

Quite often Shoes is about so has to be sneaked past, but sometimes he spots me and this necessitates a quick dash back in through the window. He’s no where near as quick as me.

Then at the back

Shoes got shooed away the other day, She wasn’t too pleased with him scratching at the lawn. We all knew why he was scratching at it, She thinks it was in protest at having a new neighbour, me! Tom now has to be careful where he treads when cutting the grass, so as not to step in anything. She thinks they should have a word with Shoes She or Tom as the protests he leaves are not of the right consistency. Tilly Too has been posted to keep an eye on him.

Tilly Too keeping guard of the front lawn

Anyway. The other day I was quite busy out the front exploring and had a wander down the hill a bit. A gap between the other insides (which I’m not allowed in) showed itself, so as I was curious I went for a little look. Well blimey all these insides all have front and back outsides. Soon I realised that it was a little bit familiar. Then the next one was a lot familiar, it was my back outside. I had found an outerconnection!

An Outerconnection!

Tom spotted me and opened up the back door, it’s handy having staff. Now could someone PLEASE go and close that window, it’s getting cold in here!


Every morning they open their door, then beep my door, then tape my door open for me. This seems to be a ritual that they take in turns doing. I think it’s because they have become lazy since they stopped moving the outside and can’t be bothered to open my door for me when ever I want to use it.

Open it!!

Because the other door has a malfunction they have to open the big door and leave it propped open for me. I’m sure if they could be bothered they could tape that one too!

In the mornings this is all fine, I go and check the back outside, keeping an eye out for the neighbours then return a while later for my morning snooze.

That’s as it should be

In the afternoons however I’m not so keen on the back outside. Bogey Nose and Betty sit on their shed and gloat at my lack of shed, so I’ve given up going out there until I can have a shed of my own.

A good selection of sheds to choose from there

Thank you Mungo and Dog for offering to share your She shed. Thank you also to Smudge for sending me a photo to check out the available sheds in the Oxfordshire outside. At the moment I am hoping She and Tom come up with a better solution than the bit of plastic roof I have been offered, they did wash it down for me, but it’s positively shady, so what’s the point in that?! I am open to other offers of sheds.

Anyhow. My afternoon snooze has been disturbed a couple of times. The sheer front of some cats! Bogey Nose started it at the back too!! He thought I wouldn’t be able to hear him, he has no cat tag or bell. But I am the one who hears otters silently gliding in water, so a stumpy legged bogey faced fatty climbing in through my door and then poking his nose around the corner was guaranteed to wake me and was most certainly not welcome!

A few days later I caught Betty trying to do like wise. This simply isn’t on! I don’t try going through their door!

Cat tag access only

Luckily they back away when I hiss and spit at them. She then goes and closes the doors behind them saying my doors are only for cats with cat tags, Cats from the cut. She then says if only I’d learn how to open my door by myself then there wouldn’t be this problem with intruders. She even keeps threatening to be even lazier and not open it all!

Top Twonk Head Tom

Last week She started to sing to me again. She hasn’t done that since we’ve been in this inside. The song She sang was new.

We’re all going to the boat on Monday

Boat on Monday

Boat on Monday

We’re all going to the boat on Monday

Pootle pootle poot

She and Tom looked happy. Tom tipperty tapped and sorted out cars, I don’t like cars! But if it meant returning to our old inside and them moving the outside again, I could be very happy too!

Keeping an eye on the front door from a safe distance

They talked of outsides in Tears and which they should tie up. They sorted out shopping and train fares. She even started to rip the boat curtains apart, She was that excited!

Then Top Twonk Head Tom came on the box. Their faces stopped being so happy, She stopped singing. The curtains were folded and left.


Monday came, She packed things into big bags and made them small. I tried to get in one of these but She said I wouldn’t like it in there with no air. Tom tied a car up outside. Would the journey be worth being back at the boat away from Intruders (that’s for another post) and Bogey Nosed neighbours?

Left to look after the tools

Then She said I was in charge of the house. They were going without me!! Leaving me behind! But I thought we were ALL going to the boat!!


Sheds. They seem to be thing around here. A status symbol for both humans and felines.

A perfect shed for two

Bogey nose and Betty have a shed. Damian on the otherside has a shed, but no cat to make use of it’s roof. Then for as far as a cats eye can see, there are sheds. I have two back outsides and yet I have no SHED!

Call this a SHED!

Apparently there used to be a shed, but it was taken away before it fell down. However this inside has an indoor shed! She even keeps suggesting it has two indoor sheds. I’m not convinced.

Not sunny enough

A shed needs to have a roof all of it’s own. A shed should be of a certain height. This is so that humans can walk into it and cats can jump onto it. Ideally a shed should be positioned in a sunny spot, so one can sun bathe all afternoon. A shed should be filled with interesting things, nooks and crannies that only cats can squeeze into.

I can see sheds all the way down there

My two sheds have none of these qualities. No roof. Nowhere to sit on. Nowhere to sun bathe. Bogey nose and Betty will not share theirs, even though I’ve tried, and Damian’s is a little bit too angled for sun bathing. As for things, nooks and crannies, well they are empty!

I want my own shed

How is a cat meant to assert her position and status without a Shed!

I feel the need to start a campaign.

Front Outside

For ages I’ve been looking at the Front Outside. Trees. Sideways trees. Maybe a bit of friendly cover and beer deliveries! What’s not to like about out there.

The cat shelf isn’t too good in this room, I get hot paws

So eventually She opened up the doors, to do even more painting! As Clerk of Works I was allowed to join her to make sure standards were being kept upwards. She rubbed lots, washed lots and then started to paint it and the other one. So much effort, I do hope She’s happy with it when it’s finished and the other one.

Beer! Apparently they do gluten free beer.

Loads to sniff round here. Although there are no cows, horses, or sheeps smells. But what there is, far too many cat smells!

That cross eyed cat came past, so I hissed at him. Shoes, what a daft name! Cats don’t wear shoes, if they did they wouldn’t be able to climb trees! They would inhibit our in built crampons.

Anyway. I quite like this outside even if I’ve not ventured up any of the trees yet, I’m saving that as I have a feeling this outside will be tied up for ages and ages, just like the one out the back.

The grass tastes sweet and there is stuff to dig too. Before you say it, I would never consider doing ‘That’ here, anyway I have a pooh box for that sort of thing. Best to keep it inside and away from predators.

Fence calculations

There’s a good bit of fence which should gain me access to a bit higher, I haven’t finished doing the calculations for this yet, but it’s work in progress.

Then there is a really good cat walk. It doesn’t stay flat, but it goes on for nearly as long as Oleannas. This is a good vantage point to watch the cars, vans and beer deliveries go by.

My uppy downy catwalk

From the catwalk I can just about reach the big white fly that makes noises, more calculations required to extend my stretch for this one. She says ‘it would be good if you could touch it‘ then She and Tom would know when I wanted to come in.

My catwalk’s better than yours!

Only down side is that Bogey Face Alan knows of this outside and he seems to have a catwalk too. But my catwalk is far FAR superior!