Wet Neck!

The other morning I was just sitting minding my own business, waiting for the front window to be opened when She comes along and picks me up, I’m not a great one for a cuddle even if She’d like me to be.

Normally I am lifted off the ground because She doesn’t want me there, I’m about to be put behind a closed door for some bazaar reason, shopping arriving, chats on the doorstep. Then there are the other times. When I get put on a table!

Collarless

This time my collar and cat tags were removed. Not a good sign in the slightest. I do my best to scrunch up my shoulders so there can’t be a patch of skin visible anywhere on my body, especially in the keenly sought after shoulder blades, back of neck area. But She continues to try to part my fur as I squirm and wriggle.

The battle continues for quite a few minutes until She feels She has succeeded.

Sulky tail

No matter what I do I can’t quite get to my wet neck. My fur tingles and this feeling gradually creeps across the whole of my body. Scratching the offending area doesn’t seem to help, but I continue to do it. My legs shrink and seem to be doing an impersonation of Bogey nose stumpy Alan only more so.

Even though She’s been evil to me, I like to stay close, incase She says it was a mistake and takes back the horrible tingly cold stuff. But She doesn’t. She never does.

Collarless

The only good thing about my situation is I get to be very very quiet for a couple of days. No cat tags means no bell and I can sneak up behind them and give them a jump. She says there are more advantages like not getting fleas or ticks. But I thought ticks were good things and quite often come along with a gold star.

Now where was I?

Outerconnections

Tilly Too and me

Tilly Too and I have been wandering about things for a while, mostly about outsides. This inside has two outsides, one at the front and the other out the back. The other day a Tom came with a very wet brush. He swept the front windows, leaving them all very very wet. But then a short while later he appeared in the back outside and gave the windows there a wet sweep too. How did he do that? Get from the front to the back without using the inside?!

His wet brush at the front

For obvious reasons (Bogey nose stumpy Alan) I far prefer the front outside. She now opens up a window so that I can come and go as I like most days. My intake of Dreamies is increasing nicely!

Quite often Shoes is about so has to be sneaked past, but sometimes he spots me and this necessitates a quick dash back in through the window. He’s no where near as quick as me.

Then at the back

Shoes got shooed away the other day, She wasn’t too pleased with him scratching at the lawn. We all knew why he was scratching at it, She thinks it was in protest at having a new neighbour, me! Tom now has to be careful where he treads when cutting the grass, so as not to step in anything. She thinks they should have a word with Shoes She or Tom as the protests he leaves are not of the right consistency. Tilly Too has been posted to keep an eye on him.

Tilly Too keeping guard of the front lawn

Anyway. The other day I was quite busy out the front exploring and had a wander down the hill a bit. A gap between the other insides (which I’m not allowed in) showed itself, so as I was curious I went for a little look. Well blimey all these insides all have front and back outsides. Soon I realised that it was a little bit familiar. Then the next one was a lot familiar, it was my back outside. I had found an outerconnection!

An Outerconnection!

Tom spotted me and opened up the back door, it’s handy having staff. Now could someone PLEASE go and close that window, it’s getting cold in here!

Intruders!

Every morning they open their door, then beep my door, then tape my door open for me. This seems to be a ritual that they take in turns doing. I think it’s because they have become lazy since they stopped moving the outside and can’t be bothered to open my door for me when ever I want to use it.

Open it!!

Because the other door has a malfunction they have to open the big door and leave it propped open for me. I’m sure if they could be bothered they could tape that one too!

In the mornings this is all fine, I go and check the back outside, keeping an eye out for the neighbours then return a while later for my morning snooze.

That’s as it should be

In the afternoons however I’m not so keen on the back outside. Bogey Nose and Betty sit on their shed and gloat at my lack of shed, so I’ve given up going out there until I can have a shed of my own.

A good selection of sheds to choose from there

Thank you Mungo and Dog for offering to share your She shed. Thank you also to Smudge for sending me a photo to check out the available sheds in the Oxfordshire outside. At the moment I am hoping She and Tom come up with a better solution than the bit of plastic roof I have been offered, they did wash it down for me, but it’s positively shady, so what’s the point in that?! I am open to other offers of sheds.

Anyhow. My afternoon snooze has been disturbed a couple of times. The sheer front of some cats! Bogey Nose started it at the back too!! He thought I wouldn’t be able to hear him, he has no cat tag or bell. But I am the one who hears otters silently gliding in water, so a stumpy legged bogey faced fatty climbing in through my door and then poking his nose around the corner was guaranteed to wake me and was most certainly not welcome!

A few days later I caught Betty trying to do like wise. This simply isn’t on! I don’t try going through their door!

Cat tag access only

Luckily they back away when I hiss and spit at them. She then goes and closes the doors behind them saying my doors are only for cats with cat tags, Cats from the cut. She then says if only I’d learn how to open my door by myself then there wouldn’t be this problem with intruders. She even keeps threatening to be even lazier and not open it all!

Top Twonk Head Tom

Last week She started to sing to me again. She hasn’t done that since we’ve been in this inside. The song She sang was new.

We’re all going to the boat on Monday

Boat on Monday

Boat on Monday

We’re all going to the boat on Monday

Pootle pootle poot

She and Tom looked happy. Tom tipperty tapped and sorted out cars, I don’t like cars! But if it meant returning to our old inside and them moving the outside again, I could be very happy too!

Keeping an eye on the front door from a safe distance

They talked of outsides in Tears and which they should tie up. They sorted out shopping and train fares. She even started to rip the boat curtains apart, She was that excited!

Then Top Twonk Head Tom came on the box. Their faces stopped being so happy, She stopped singing. The curtains were folded and left.

BUT!!!!!

Monday came, She packed things into big bags and made them small. I tried to get in one of these but She said I wouldn’t like it in there with no air. Tom tied a car up outside. Would the journey be worth being back at the boat away from Intruders (that’s for another post) and Bogey Nosed neighbours?

Left to look after the tools

Then She said I was in charge of the house. They were going without me!! Leaving me behind! But I thought we were ALL going to the boat!!