Sheds. They seem to be thing around here. A status symbol for both humans and felines.

A perfect shed for two

Bogey nose and Betty have a shed. Damian on the otherside has a shed, but no cat to make use of it’s roof. Then for as far as a cats eye can see, there are sheds. I have two back outsides and yet I have no SHED!

Call this a SHED!

Apparently there used to be a shed, but it was taken away before it fell down. However this inside has an indoor shed! She even keeps suggesting it has two indoor sheds. I’m not convinced.

Not sunny enough

A shed needs to have a roof all of it’s own. A shed should be of a certain height. This is so that humans can walk into it and cats can jump onto it. Ideally a shed should be positioned in a sunny spot, so one can sun bathe all afternoon. A shed should be filled with interesting things, nooks and crannies that only cats can squeeze into.

I can see sheds all the way down there

My two sheds have none of these qualities. No roof. Nowhere to sit on. Nowhere to sun bathe. Bogey nose and Betty will not share theirs, even though I’ve tried, and Damian’s is a little bit too angled for sun bathing. As for things, nooks and crannies, well they are empty!

I want my own shed

How is a cat meant to assert her position and status without a Shed!

I feel the need to start a campaign.

Front Outside

For ages I’ve been looking at the Front Outside. Trees. Sideways trees. Maybe a bit of friendly cover and beer deliveries! What’s not to like about out there.

The cat shelf isn’t too good in this room, I get hot paws

So eventually She opened up the doors, to do even more painting! As Clerk of Works I was allowed to join her to make sure standards were being kept upwards. She rubbed lots, washed lots and then started to paint it and the other one. So much effort, I do hope She’s happy with it when it’s finished and the other one.

Beer! Apparently they do gluten free beer.

Loads to sniff round here. Although there are no cows, horses, or sheeps smells. But what there is, far too many cat smells!

That cross eyed cat came past, so I hissed at him. Shoes, what a daft name! Cats don’t wear shoes, if they did they wouldn’t be able to climb trees! They would inhibit our in built crampons.

Anyway. I quite like this outside even if I’ve not ventured up any of the trees yet, I’m saving that as I have a feeling this outside will be tied up for ages and ages, just like the one out the back.

The grass tastes sweet and there is stuff to dig too. Before you say it, I would never consider doing ‘That’ here, anyway I have a pooh box for that sort of thing. Best to keep it inside and away from predators.

Fence calculations

There’s a good bit of fence which should gain me access to a bit higher, I haven’t finished doing the calculations for this yet, but it’s work in progress.

Then there is a really good cat walk. It doesn’t stay flat, but it goes on for nearly as long as Oleannas. This is a good vantage point to watch the cars, vans and beer deliveries go by.

My uppy downy catwalk

From the catwalk I can just about reach the big white fly that makes noises, more calculations required to extend my stretch for this one. She says ‘it would be good if you could touch it‘ then She and Tom would know when I wanted to come in.

My catwalk’s better than yours!

Only down side is that Bogey Face Alan knows of this outside and he seems to have a catwalk too. But my catwalk is far FAR superior!

Grown UP Bicycle

When we were on Oleanna, Tom rode a bicycle every now and again. On finishing riding it he would fold it up and slot it into it’s home. Here I could sniff to smell where he’d been in the outside.

Tom at our ‘Home’ outside with his folding bicycle

This inside has a black bicycle that he folds up too. It doesn’t have a slot so seems to get moved around lots. It doesn’t smell as good as the red one does, that’s Scarboreugh for you.

Lying on it’s back, not a good sign

The other day Mountain Tom came round with a different sort of bicycle. It look broken to me, maybe even very poorly as it laid on it’s back, forks in the air. Mountain Tom gave Tom a wheel, which he soon attached, that looked better.

It is really is very big

But apparently it is still a poorly bicycle. It has had to go to hospital as it’s chain is seized and breaks need sorting before they break Tom. I tried it out for size. I think the handle bars are a touch too high for me as I can’t quite reach the peddles, maybe they can adjust this at the hospital.

It smells very different

She says it is Tom’s grown up bicycle and not for me at all! Spoil sport!! It doesn’t seem to fold up, She says that it doesn’t need too as this inside has lots of space. Apparently grown up Bicycles have their own front doors too.

A few adjustments and it will be fine

Funny Flies

So far in this inside we’ve not had any midges. She’s happy about this as just the thought of them makes her itch! Then She has to itch them, which annoys Tom, and then they itch some more.

Trying to find a route up

But what we do have is very pesky funny looking flies that sit on the walls all day, every day! Surly they should be going somewhere. But no, they just sit there, annoying me.

Pesky critters

I’ve tried to encourage them to fly, but they are adamant and just stay put. One even took hold of my claws and had me hanging for a while, luckily the cat walk was just below when finally I got free.

She says I’ll soon have no white paws left.

I’ve even tried getting this one to move from the other side. She wasn’t too pleased with me ‘barging your way past the defences‘. I have to say I’m not too keen on soot, or a damp flannel!

She says most of these flies will eventually go, especially the ones that none of us can reach easily. Two have already gone from the kitchen. Maybe they migrate like geese.

Sit Off In Scarbados

One back outside

There was I in the back outside with She. She was busy painting, AGAIN! and I was minding my own business. Reclaiming my tree, checking out the walls when Bogey Nose turns up!

The other back outside

I’d just started to explore a sideways tree and all of a sudden there he was. Short legs, a touch over weight and most certainly not as beautiful as me. He just sits there on the floor looking up at me and sniffing the air! I smelt lovely this morning having just had a half hour bath before the pen game, so what was there to sniff at?! Maybe he was having difficulty with his bogey!

Me up the sideways tree, red arrow for Tom Tom

He just sat there and sat there! Well no wonder with all that extra weight he carries. I was getting bored of being up the sideways tree, was he shifting, was he heck! She introduced us. Tilly this is Alan, Alan this is Tilly, be nice to each other. She said we had to sort it out between ourselves but please avoid the necessity of a visit to the vets. I’d really rather not go there so I suggested that he should move, politely. He must be deaf it took a hiss or two before he took the hint.

Bogey, you are in MY outside!

Then after he’d walked away he came back surprising me. Big Fat Bogey! We stood off for a while then he walked away again, jumping up onto the wall between this outside and the other, which apparently is his.

I sat on my wall, I know this because it is between my two outsides. He turned his back to me, but I kept an eye on him. We had a sit off.

Must not make eye contact

When the sit off moved around the corner to a pile of bricks and Snotty’s green fence Tom came along and picked me up. He said there’d been enough sorting it out for today.

Ghostly Goings On

She and Tom have been getting a little bit perplexed of late. Before their boating days they used to live in this inside all the time. Apparently they didn’t change the outside then either!

Watching the far away TV

In the last week or so things have started to happen, at night which never used to happen before. Some things can be put down to the house being warm again, creeks and squeaks. But other things can’t!

I’ve had a good check up the chimney, but there’s nothing to see up there either. They have blocked the bottom now, so if there is anything up there it can’t get out.

No escape from the chimney now!

There is one cupboard that they keep finding open. This is where the Tom put the new boiler in and there are handy shelves to sit on, along with an intriguing hole in the floor.

Open most mornings

They wonder whether there might be a ghost trying to get out.

There’s nothing down there

So at night I open the cupboard up and keep an eye out for it, sometimes I need to turn the light on too because so far I’ve seen no ghostly goings on.

Paul, thank you for your non findings. Maybe the ghost is steeling my blog! If it is then you won’t be able to see this. Try pulling the cord, the light usually comes on, which might help.

My Own Wardles.

This inside has been holding two secrets from me.

One Wardle

At first I thought they were really good places to play with spidery friends, but that got boring when Tom gave them all an escape route over the side.

My only friend … so far

However it turns out these baths are little canals! The water level isn’t so good in them though. Every now and then they fill up. My Wardle canals are much cleaner and warmer than the one in Cheshire, put them both end to end and they would still be a lot shorter. They are so clean that Tom and She sit in them for ages, apparently this is what all boaters miss, having their own Wardles.

Wardle Canal, Middlewich, Cheshire

As soon as they get out the water drains away! I was thinking of reporting this to Canal and River Trust, but a Tom came round to check underneath, he wasn’t wearing blue, so I hope he knew what he was doing.

That needs investigating

He took the side off, I spied a hole underneath Wardle. Was this where all the water was going? I had to investigate. It all seemed very dry and dusty under there and She came running and dragged me out, closing the door behind us. I tried reporting that all was well, but She seemed more bothered about me walking on the ceiling! How stupid! How could I have been walking on the ceiling?! The Tom came back the next day and put the side back on. Since then that Wardle has stayed dry, may the reservoir levels in Scarboreugh are very low.

Wardle Lock, Middlewich, Cheshire

House Warming

Apparently when you move into a house it has to be warmed. This has happened in several ways over the last few days.

First Frank Tom arrived with beans and apples. Then the next day he came back with something for me. A whole sideways tree!

A Sideways tree inside!

He stood at the front door holding it upwards and then it got laid down for me to have a good look at. It’s a bit strange having a sideways tree inside. Well it was until Tom started to remove all it’s leaves and put them in a very big jar. Then he removed what was left to outside. Apparently this wasn’t for me after all, it was bayleaves that She likes to put in cooking.

3.1 litres of bayleaves

Then another Tom turned up. He was very noisy. He was so noisy I decided that behind the sofa was the best place for me to be. The house inside got smaller and smaller until I only had the living room anyway.

I think that is broken

He ran up the stairs, banged about, wiggled things, hit things, everything was very noisy. Then about mid afternoon, normally snooze time the living room started to get really hot. I wondered if I had started the menopaws. No this Tom was making the house be able to warm itself. She and Tom were very pleased especially as they’d thought they would have to wait ages for this to happen.

This one looks broken too, but it just wasn’t quite finished

That evening they tried out what She calls the ‘Ugly Shower’. It worked, but they both agree it is very ugly.

Then there was a big parcel. Inside it were things for Tom and She. Then a little parcel just for me, from Mungo and Dog! This was my house warming present from my friendly cats down south, they live with Joa my number one fan.

Wow wee. I got a covid toy, a crinckly toy, some dreamies and even better some Webbox sticks, my absolute favourites. Thank you very much Mungo and Dog, my house is very warmed now.

She also wanted me to say a big thank you to Joa for her catty mask. She has been making them to raise funds for Swale Cats Protection. This is where Mungo and Dog got rescued and recently Frank, though Frank isn’t the big Frank Tom you get in Scarboreugh.


Even thought there have been a couple of noisy days I quite like this house warming stuff.

New Rules

The outside rules have changed a bit.

NO friends home, dead or alive, or putting them on the roof for later.

No jumping in

NO Bullying.

NO going on in other peoples boats houses. That one’s a bit different.

No playing on the road. New.

No fighting. New.

Respect your neighbours. What!?! No poohing in Damian’s garden! Who is Damian?

The portal opened and then She opened the big door for me. Outside!

My tree!

Right first thing, that tree. Mine, all of it! Straight up. She and Tom stood and watched, I could tell She was a little apprehensive when I carried on up to the top and then popped over the wall up there.


Interesting. Windows and a door with a big outside bit and ‘Hydropathetic’ written high up on the wall. I had a good nosy in the windows, but couldn’t see much. No route to the top that I could work out.

Back down I headed round the glass house. She asked if I was hoping for a full English , but only Tom does those. A nosy at the other side, plenty of those things she calls cars. It’s two years since I got called a stupid cat for getting a bit too close to a moving one in Thrupp outside. No obvious route upwards from there.

My tree and the route upwards

Back round, I could tell She was twitchy, trying to pretend everything was normal, but keeping an eye on me, when she could see me.

Up on the wall, across the fence onto the roof. Some possibilities. But another roof looked like a really good place for a snooze in the sun. However it seems to have been claimed! I may have to work on this.

Its dull on this roof

She was still trying to pretend everything was okay, so I popped back in to show her that Of course I knew where she was. They trust me on the boat, so they just have to trust me here too. I just hope they don’t move the outside with me in it here!

Now just what is on the other side of this door?

Into Quarantine

The staff obliged and opened the portal for me this morning. I didn’t go splat as I went through, which was a relief. Instead of opening into somewhere new, it just opened up into the quarantine zone. Do I have to be quarantined as I come and go out of the inside? I hope not, that could waste an awful lot of tree climbing time!

Into Quarantine

She wouldn’t open up the door for me to get back in, you just can’t get the staff!

Come on open the door!

But instead she opened the other door, quarantine has two big doors and two little doors. The new little door, an old model that still requires some work to operate properly. This one didn’t need programming. Instead She opened up the big door, to OUTSIDE!

Outside again

Oh the air smelt so good!

Look there’s our Christmas tree!

She and Tom followed me around for a while. There was a lot of sniffing to do. CATS! There are loads of CATS. No point in me leaving my scent anywhere today as there was no space for it!

I had a nosy around the big walls. Apparently the big walls are called Green Gables. I did a little reckie around what I could see. There are several possible routes to the top. Hopefully they won’t move this outside until I’ve mastered this challenge.

The Green Gables Challenge

After twenty minutes She scooped me back up and that was it. The staff failed again with the door to come back in, maybe this portal is one way, outway not inway, like on Oleanna.